A Quiet Drive Home

"Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control" 1

It's quiet in the truck, and traffic is light. Not many folks around, just me and the radio

"'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.
'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 2

The whole wedding was a bit of a blur, it was sweet, and fun, and great to see all those folks. Bit said she couldn't look at mom, too many tears.

"To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry."1

So apparently I have now run out of whatever's been keeping my mind on happier things.

"Would it help if i turned a sad song on
'All by Myself' would sure hit me hard, now that you're gone"1

It's been just over three months; mom's alone in the house for the first time since it happened. I wonder how she's doing?

"It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way" 1

I still walk into their bedroom and talk to him, tell him what's up . . . at least say "good morning."

"'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'" 2

Some details are fuzzy . . . did it happen before my quarterly review? Did I get to hear him say he was proud of me? Did he say "That's great gooz?" He would have. Who all came? So many people said so many sweet things. There was that stupid shopping cart - I need to get the dent in my door fixed.

"God has paid us the intolerable compliment of loving us, in the deepest, most tragic, most inexorable sense." 3

I miss my daddy.

"Let it fall like rain, from my eyes Tonight I wanna cry."


1 Tonight I Wanna Cry, Keith Urban
2 The Velvelteen Rabbit, Margery Williams
3 The Problem of Pain, C. S. Lewis