8.2.07

Pedestrians

no - Pea-head-destrians.

Let me clarify - your average pedestrian walks to their destination along sidewalks, utilizing traffic signals and crosswalks when necessary. This is their goal, to get where they are going. The average Pea-head-destrian, while seemingly similar at first glance, has an entirely different goal. The Pea-head-destrian does not necessarily have a destination, but exists in the outside world along sidewalks and streets solely to exacerbate the travel of drivers.

I have a theory that there are greater concentrations of Pea-head-destrians in urban areas and especially resort-type areas.

Pea-head-destrian spotting, or how to distinguish the ped from the Pea-head:

1. The pedestrian walks along the side of the road. The Pea-head-destrian seeking to cross the path of a motor vehicle as often as possible, will seemingly on a whim, walk down the center of the road from time to time.

2. The pedestrian will walk to the nearest crosswalk in order to cross the street, and occasionally stride out into traffic confident in the ability of traffic to recognize that they have the right of way. The Pea-head-destrian will cross when they deem it necessary to achieve their goal (see above), avoiding crosswalks at all costs. They will however demand the driver relinquish the right of way.
-I had a Pea-head-destrian recently walk 6 feet past a crosswalk and then begin to cross the street, and when I didn't indicate any intention to stop, they began waving at me, and signalling that I should, so that they could cross.

3. Pedestrians, especially in areas of high traffic, are highly aware of traffic, and obviously so. Pea-head-destrians, on the other hand, while aware, feign ignorance of the way traffic is moving.

The Pea-head-destrian is a wiley creature, and should be avoided when one is running late for work, or an appointment. However, if you seek momentary amusement, keep an eye out for them; their escapades, especially when they do not involve personal inconvenience, can provide giggles or even guffaws.

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